24 February 2012 Jay Shepherd

A Facebook policy for grown-ups

Our Facebook Policy

We have no Facebook policy.


FAQ on our Facebook policy

Say what?

That’s right. We don’t have one.

Don’t we have to have one?

Says who? Employment lawyers? Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. No, we don’t have to have one.

Why not?

Because we only hire grown-ups to work here. And grown-ups don’t need to be told how to behave.

But isn’t Facebook different?

Why? Because it’s on a computer? Time to let go of the twentieth century, Orville. Yes, sometimes things are on computers now. Or phones or tablets. Things like books, movies, TV shows, music, mail, phone calls, funny cat pictures, snarky comments, and other social interactions. Deal with it.

I don’t know. I’m dubious.

I’ll say.

What?

Oh, nothing.

There can’t be any harm in having a little Facebook policy. Just to keep the employment lawyers happy. Please?

No. In fact, a Facebook policy can cause harm. The National Labor Relations Board, which is trying to expand its role in the nonunionized sector, is actively going after companies with dumb Facebook policies.

Oh. That seems uncool.

Totes.

Still, without a Facebook policy, how do we know what we can and can’t post?

Look: somehow you managed to figure out that it’s a bad idea to yell on a street corner that your customer is a moron. Yet we have no Street-Corner-Yelling Policy. And you accurately deduced that you probably shouldn’t shout in a crowded theater that your coworker sleeps with farm animals (or shout “Fire!”; I think I learned that in law school). Yet we are completely bereft of a Shouting-Slanderous-Statements-in-Theaters Policy. Facebook is no different.

So nothing will happen to me if I post on Facebook that my coworker sleeps with farm animals?

No, dumbass. We’ll fire you faster than the Red Sox can blow a nine-game division lead in September. The fact that you’re thinking that means we probably shouldn’t have hired you in the first place.

But there’s no policy against it.

Now you’re catching on. That’s right: there’s no policy against it. We know you’re a grown-up and we trust that you’ll be professional and respectful of others. If our trust was misplaced, we’ll fix that.

Got it. Thanks.

Have a great day.

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